Date: Fri May 4, 2001 6:32 pm Nobody there knows me yet, and i have to tell you, reading all of your mail is so confusing. I don't mean that as an insult. What if you are epileptic and depressed and have a frozen shoulder and have fibrocystic breast disease? you all talk about not taking any meds. In a perfect world... I do not like the prozac, i think i'm going to quit, but not cold turkey because it could trigger a seizure. I was taking celexa last june and when i seized i fell against the wood stove at the cottage, suffering second and mostly third degree burns. In jan. i left my husband of 17 years because i couldn't deal with the depression and he was not or could not understand. I worked for winners in canada, had an office and alot of responsibilities. I was happy and then one day i woke up and couldn't stop crying. I left behind a daughter, son-in-law, grandson (whom i adored and would die for), and there is another baby on the way in sept. Anyway, i wish all of you well, whoever you are. Take care, Wendy Date: Sat May 5, 2001 6:30 pm I have been on prozac for 2 weeks and feel horrible. I can't be myself and cry and moan because my sister is on paxil and is one of those people who believes that you suffer in silence. b.s. How is anybody supposed to know that you're not well? I feel as though i have to put on a happy face all the time and the only person i can truly be myself is my 26 year old daughter, whom i never got along with until i left my husband. We are 1 province apart, and she can't wait to see me. she is the only person who honestly LIFTS my spirits. Take care, Wendy Date: Mon May 7, 2001 2:51 am Hi everybody, I have been on prozac for 12 days and feel horrible. You all are on paxil, so i'm confused. Just got off the phone with my dad and he made me promise to be out of bed by 9 every morning, go out and walk, even if it's just around my building EVERY day. I promised and, in my family, that's like gold. I know it will be hard, especially since i didn't get out of bed until 5pm today. I also ignored the phone all day. I'm epileptic, so i already have enough drugs in my system. I left my husband of 17 years, so i feel so bad for joey. I am now alone and lonely. I'm going to taper off the prozac, even finish the bottle, so i don't have a seizure. besides, the cost was 60 dollars for 30 pills and that cash comes out of my pocket (which seems to have a big hole in it!) Anyway, you all are confusing me, cause you seem to know each other by name. i live in fredericton, new brunswick; left ontario, a husband, daughter, son-in- law, grandson, and another baby on the way. believe me, it almost killed me to leave. The stress has made my blood pressure rocket and i was in the hospital with chest pains for one night. That's the only reason i knew my b.p. was up in the first place. Does anybody watch the hockey games? the leafs rock! Take care, Wendy Date: Mon May 7, 2001 9:30 pm Robin, I don't even get OUT of bed. I just crawl under the covers and hide. I have gained 30 pounds.....my sister got me a cat just so i would have to get out of bed to feed her. That is why my sister got me a cat, so i'd have some responsibility. I'm 44 and my kids are grown up and left. I was SERIOUSLY considering suicide, but my sister said that forever she would feel like she had failed me and made me promise not to. Some days it's hard... Take care, Wendy Date: Mon May 7, 2001 9:39 pm Response1: Please no matter how bad it gets do not do that there is almost always someone here for you. I know I check a few times a day.Just remember that and we all understand and we have been there. Kim Date: Mon May 7, 2001 11:08 pm In a message dated 5/7/2001 5:32:32 PM Eastern Daylight Time, chiquita_hotbanana@hotmail.com writes: << i was SERIOUSLY considering suicide, >> Response2: I hope that you are never there again :) If you ever get close or anyone else I found this webiste for alternative treatmenst and it showed this web video for people who want to commit suicide. I will find it if I can, My computer crashed recently. It really is the best video to see at a time like that. The only time I feel like that was when I was on meds and then when I get embaressed about my upbringing or mistakes I have made like being negaitive or a little paranoid. YOur sister sound slike she really loves you :) Michele Date: Wed May 9, 2001 9:20 pm Hey, I'm not sure who i'm talking to..... I've been following all of the conversations, and not saying too much, because everybody seemed to know each other and i felt left out....besides, i had only been taking the prozac for 12 days. ok. i',m going to ramble. I'm tapering myself off, i don't like how i feel. What's the good of not crying all day, when u have all of the other side effects? I'll take crying, thanks. and, i feel doubly horrible when i read your stories. I just sit here and cry harder. Anyway, back to me... on the days i take it, i laugh alot, but it's not a normal laugh. does that make sense? On the days that i don't take it, at first i feel really good, then i laugh hysterically at everything (i'm so lucky that my family loves me!), then i clean like crazy (don't like housework), then i keep my promise to my dad and get my ass out the door (but, not for very long), and now i'm crying, shaking, feeling absolutely miserable and i just want to crawl into a corner. is this the roller coaster you guys talk about? I am dreading mother's day, because my sister has demanded that i attend her home for dinner. (notice, i said demanded!). Anyway, thanks for listening....it's my daughter's 26th birthday today and i know that i will be ignoring the phone tonight. i feel bad, but, i can't pretend to be happy today; i called her earlier and checked in with my sister, so that she won't be calling anymore this evening. Those of you who have read my e-mails, know that my sister got me a cat just so that i would have a responsibility to get out of bed. The stress is particularly high this week, because i am waiting for my husband to be served separation papers. if you hear of a domestic dispute in Canada tomorrow, that's me! lol. Take care, Wendy Date: Fri May 11, 2001 11:16 pm Response: I know what you mean about the laugh not being a real laugh, its like the body just responding reacting to the drugs and making you laugh even though you may really feel lousy inside. Those drugs also give you a really euphoric feeling in the beginning feeling really tingly excited inside (LIKE I SAID EUPHORIC) increased libido etc. etc. may last 2-6 wks then it poops out (or your mood "even out". Like i was told thats when the zombie like state kicks in and you just thinks everythings going to be ok now i dont have to worry or do anything anymore.............thats how they get you hooked.............be careful!!!! T.